The Fantastic Four meet Excalibur!
by shadowpanda101
Summary: The FF go to Great Britain to uncover a great piece of history. What will happen? Read to find out!


Sorry for the lack of updates! I know I should be updating _Fantastic Performances_, but I'm having a hard time finding a song for Johnny. Every song I think of ends up looking weird in my head. So, if anyone has any suggestions, please tell me. Anyway, I wrote this because of a random idea that popped into my head. I thought it would be funny and I wanted to combine what I thought were TWO OF THE GREATEST SERIES EVER! Sorry for that *sweatdrop*, please enjoy!

EDIT: Thank you JustLikeYou for your suggestion on Johnny's song for _Fantastic Performances_.

Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater, FF:WGH, or the History Channel.

* * *

"Remind me again why we're flying around the middle of nowhere?" Johnny asked impatiently.

"We're not in the middle of nowhere Johnny, we're….we're….where are we Reed?" Sue asked the brown and white haired scientist.

"We're right now entering Great Britain, and to answer your question Johnny, we're looking for the cave that's said to contain the legendary Excalibur, a powerful and historical sword that is said to-"

"NERD ALERT! I asked for "why" we're here, not a History Channel special."

"Zip it Flame Brian!"

"Shut it Brick…" Johnny was unable to finish his sentence as he, Ben, and Sue jerked forward when the Fantasicar jolted to a stop.

"We're here." Reed stated matter-of-factly.

"And you couldn't give us a warning because?" Susan questioned with an agitated tone, rubbing her head.

"Did you want their little quarrel to continue?"

"Never mind."

Reed landed the Fantasticar on a meadow that stood beside a large waterfall. "That's where Excalibur is said to be placed." Reed said, pointing to the large ruins that the water was coming out of.

"There's no way I'm going in there, I'll get wet!" Johnny exclaimed with his arms crossed.

/*-/*-/*-/*-/*-/

"Did it have to be bridal style?" Johnny grumbled under his breath. Ben was carrying the milky blonde teen in said style with Reed and Susan in front of them.

"I could always drop ya in the water."

"Did I forget to mention how much I love bridal style?"

"Thought you say that."

"Reed, how much longer until we reach the sword? This place is starting to freak me out." Sue asked while covering herself with her arms, shivering from the fright.

"It's just a little bit further, we should start seeing light in a few minutes." Reed answered her while holding a flashlight. They walked through the moss covered cavern until they spotted a moving speck of light. The speck flew closer until it was right in front of Sue.

"Awww, it's a fairy." Sue cooed while cupping the little winged creature in her hands.

"The flashlight must be affecting your eyes. There's no such thing as fairies." Reed stated, but Sue was obviously ignoring him as she continued to stare in wonderment at the creature.

"Mind telling us where Excalibur is, you little cutie?" Sue asked. The fairy responded by showing a strange expression. Its face was scrunched to the side, eyes showing annoyance and teeth gritted together. The fairy flew away from Sue's hand and speed into the darkness.

"Well, that was weird." Sue said as they continued walking. After a few more minutes, the FF reached a brightly lit part of the cavern. Reed turned off his flashlight as they walked in. Inside was like a different world, there was a gigantic, circular rock in the middle of it. In the middle of the rock stood a golden sword, its handle shining in the light. "That's it, that's Excalibur!" the scientist shouted. He then heard a thud and turned around to see that Ben had dropped Johnny.

"What was that for?"

"You're out of the water, ain't ya?"

"Yeah, but you could've given me a warning!"

"Blah, blah, blah, that's all I'm hearing out of you."

"Guys, get over here before you cause a cave in!" Sue demanded. The two rushed over to where Reed and Sue were and stared at the sword.

"This is what you dragged us out here for? LAME!" Johnny shouted with the other three ignoring him.

"How's we suppose to get it out Stretch?"

"According to the legend, only a chosen hero can remove the sword from its resting place. So, any volunteers?" Reed asked while looking at his team. Nobody budged or said a word until Susan moved towards the sword. "I'll do it." She grumbled as she placed her hand on the handle. She lifted her hand and the sword followed suit.

"Sue's the hero?" Johnny asked in disbelief.

"Apparently."

"Go Suzie!" Ben cheered for his friend.

"I wanna go at it!" Johnny demanded.

"You didn't even want to come here!"

"That was then, this is now."

"Alright, but don't complain when you can't pull it out." Sue said while placing the sword back in its hole and taking a step back. Johnny walked to the sword and placed both of his hands on the handle. He raised his arms up and lifted the sword with relative ease.

"Hah! I knew it, I'm the real hero!"

"Well of course you pulled it out, after I did, it loosened up." Sue argued. Suddenly, the sword started to glow a bright golden light. Johnny quickly released the sword and shielded his eyes, as did the others. The sword levitated into the air.

"Pardon for the late introduction! I am Excalibur!" a voice boomed from the sword. The light dimmed and the FF opened their eyes. What they saw was that the sword had been replaced by an odd white creature with a long snout and paw-like feet. The creature was dressed in a light blue dress coat with a white lace collar and a top hat of the same color. It was holding a snow white cane.

"That's Excalibur! Man that's lame!" Johnny half shouted half laughed. The others were trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle chuckles.

"In that case, may I ask _who_ you are?" the creature, apparently Excalibur, asked, pointing its cane at the milky blonde hero.

"Me? I'm John…"

"My legend begins in the 12th century. From the looks of it, you're not from around here. _Where_ are you from?" Excalibur asked, this time pointing the cane at Reed, who, along with Ben, walked over to their teammates during the conversation.

"We're from a city call Manhattan…."

"I know, listen to what I have to say." Excalibur then started walking in the other direction.

"You're the one who asked, shouldn't you hear the answer?" asked Ben in an irritated tone.

"What do you think he has to say?" Sue whispered to Reed.

"Do you want to hear my legend?" the sword asked, again pointing the cane at Johnny.

"That's starting to get irritating." Johnny said with venom in his words

"What's your favorite food?"

"Quit pointing that thing at me!" Johnny exclaimed, flicking the cane away with his hand. "Favorite food? I guess mine would be pizza." Just then, Excalibur wacked its cane on Johnny's head.

"Fool! Who said you could choose? My legend begins in the 12th century."

"You said I could choose!" Johnny shouted, rubbing the large red bump on his head.

"Do you want to hear my legend?"

"You already asked that!"

"My legend begins in the 12th century."

"That's it!" Johnny lunged for Excalibur, but Ben caught him by the waist.

"Calm yourself Johnny, you don't want to destroy a piece of history." Reed told the teen, trying to sooth him.

"History or not, that thing's kinda getting on my nerves Stretch."

"I know it's a little agitating, but we've dealt with worse, like the Impossible Man."

"Yeah, but the Impossible Man didn't hit people with canes."

"Fool! Do you want to hear my legend?" Excalibur asked Reed, pointing the cane at him.

"_That does get a little annoying." _The scientist thought to himself as he flicked the cane away. "Yes, we would enjoy hearing your legend."

"Fool! What can you tell me about this cane?"

"Well, I can tell that it's a metal cane…."

"Fool! If you don't know, I'll tell you. The harder a man's cane is the better swordfighter he is."

"So, you're saying that you're a great…"

"Fool! I never said that I was a swordfighter."

"But, what does that have to do with the legend?"

"My legend begins in the 12th century."

"You already said that." Reed stated, starting to get a little irritated. Sue then grabbed the brown and white haired scientist and pulled him back.

"Let's get you away before you do something you'll regret," The blonde told him, then turned to Excalibur, "as for you, will you please tell us your legend?"

"Fool! In order for me to be your weapon, you must fulfill these requirements."

"Wait, I wasn't asking you…" Before Sue could finish her sentence, four giant stacks of paper fell to the superhero team, landing in their hands.

"You're sayin we have to do all of this?" Ben exclaimed, eyeing the stack with shock.

"Wow, there's even writing on the back." Reed stated, lifting the top sheet. Excalibur then started dancing and twirling its cane while rambling on about how it spent its mornings and evenings. "You don't understand, we just want to hear your legend." Sue mumbled, starting to join her teammates on the irritated express. However, the sword stopped dancing and started at the blonde.

"What did you say, lass?"

"I said that we want to hear your legend."

"Huh, my legend you say? Well, to show respect for your words, I shall sing you a song."

"Uh, thanks, but why would that want to make you sing?" Sue asked with a confused expression.

"Fool! You are unaware of the vital role singing has on culture today. Since that is the case, you have no right to deny my singing. That you must never forget, understand?"

"Bu-but….."

"Alright then. Here we go:

"_Excalibur! Excalibur!_

_From United Kingdom!_

_I'm looking For Heaven!_

_I'm going to California!_

_Excalibur! Excalibur!_

_From United Kingdom!_

_I'm looking For Heaven!_

_I'm going to California!_

_Excalibur! Excalibur! Excalibur!"_

The only thing the FF could do at the song's conclusion was stare in shock. "Now that that's out of the way, we shall participate in requirement #452, the five-hour recitation party." Again, not a single sound was uttered from the superheroes. "Let's go!" Excalibur then shone a familiar golden light. It then turned back into a sword.

"It shall be yours, victory and glory. You shall rule the world as a powerful warrior!" The FF each grabbed the handle of the golden blade with looks of awe and wonderment on their faces.

"Together, victory and honor will be ours!" The golden light surrounded the family and two large wings could be seen. However, the light quickly disappeared, showing the whole team placing the sword back in its hole.

"Wh-what's the meaning of this?"

"No thank you, we're fine without another annoyance running around the Baxter Building." Reed stated matter-of-factly.

"I've got enough to deal with having FlameBrain around, I don't need you adding to that."

"Hey!"

"Let's go guys!" Sue said walking out of the lighted area. Reed turned on his flashlight and Ben picked up Johnny bridal style. The team walked through the dark and damp cave, ignoring the cries coming from the sword behind them. When they reached the beginning of the water fall, Susan created a thin, transparent surface that lowered the superhero family back to the Fantasticar.

"Hi guys! How was Excalibur?" H.E.R.B.I.E. asked in its usual robotic excitement. The FF replied with the same expression the fairy from before gave them.

"Let's just say this H.E.R.B.I.E., we're not inviting it to any parties." Reed replied, starting up the Fantasticar to take them home.

Not long after the trip started, a humming sound covered the Fantasticar. The humming turned out to be Susan. She was humming the song Excalibur had sung right before they left. The humming quickly turned into singing.

"_Excalibur! Excalibur!" _Pretty soon, Reed, Ben, and even Johnny joined her.

"_From United Kingdom!"_

"_I'm looking For Heaven!"_

"_I'm going to California!" _Finally, they all sang the last chorus together.

"_Excalibur! Excalibur!_

_From United Kingdom!_

_I'm looking For Heaven!_

_I'm going to California!_

_Excalibur! Excalibur! Excalibur!" _At the last "Excalibur", the team raised a fist in the air. After a quick laugh, the superheroes blinked in realization at what they had just sung.

"Okay, what just happened, doesn't leave the Fantasticar." Reed stated.

"Agreed."

"You got that right."

"What singing?"

With that, the Fantastic Four continued their journey home.

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How was it? Funny? Crazy? Cracked up? all of the above? What was your favorite part? Did I keep the character's personalities accurate? Tell me in a review.

BTW, if you want to see the expression I was talking about, you can go to this site (just be sure to replace the "slashes" and "dots" with / and .):

http:(slash)(slash)emomaka(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/ Yeeeaaah-137297262

Also, you can go here for the Excalibur Song (same with the first): http:(slash)(slash)www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=hFPt5NuuzuM

See ya!


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